The Conviction Core: A Hill to Die On? or Let It Go?

I was appalled.

I was being asked to rip off another person’s design. As a professional graphic designer, I knew this was wrong and unethical.

Should I speak up and potentially lose my job?

Perhaps you’ve been in a situation like this — one where there is something that is bigger picture of your organization’s direction or a leader above you who is engaging in something you disagree with.

It could be at the red-alert-all-alarms-blaring level of violating your morals and conscience. Or it could be more minor, where it’s a preference you don’t like . Sometimes it ‘s in between — a grey area where you’re not sure if it’s a moral issue or if it’s something that you just disagree with.

How do you approach this situation? I’ve taken various approaches of gritting my teeth, griping and complaining, writing long emails of complaint (and then deleting them), and sometimes speaking up to (and even arguing with) my leaders. Some are helpful. Some, not so much.

Sometimes the situation changes, and sometimes it doesn't. Then you’re stuck. Now what?

The Conviction Core is a tool to help you process the situation before you. It helps you evaluate the sense of internal angst or peace you feel about a decision or action.

Here’s how it works.

Iron Core

Within every person is an iron core.

This iron core represents the values, thoughts and beliefs that you will not budge on. These are important things that align with your identity, ideology, and what you have chosen to live out. It is an unbending moral code that you live by.

Flexible Cloud

Now let’s go to the opposite — the things that really don’t matter that much to you.

Never mind that it kind of looks like a fried egg. (Which is appropriate, because we are talking about “egg-istential” matters of your calling and role in an organization!)

The flexible cloud, the “white” of the egg, are the things that you don’t care that much about, you don’t have any strong preferences, or you may have preferences, but you are willing to give them up. In other words, if someone asks you to do something you or abide by something, you’ll go ahead with it because the reasons for doing it seem worth the cost. They are not a violation of your conscience but areas where you are able to flex to some degree and accommodate what’s being asked of you.

Other times, you’ve just decided it’s not a big enough hill to die on. Although it’s not your preference, you’re not going to fight about it, and you’ll just toe the line or do what’s asked of you. It’s not worth a lot of your energy trying to nail down all the specific nuances, and you just go with it.

Fuzzy Zone

The hard part is what is between the iron core and the flexible cloud. In the middle is a no man’s land called the fuzzy zone. This is when things get hard.

Items that fall in the fuzzy zone aren’t immediately clear that you feel like they are a big enough hill to die on, and thus they don’t fall in your iron core. Neither are they flexible cloud items that that you feel comfortable about or are willing to bite your tongue and align.

Issues in the fuzzy zone are challenging. They bother you enough that they can’t live in the flexible cloud, but you are not so certain that they are iron core issues where you can’t budge.

Conviction Core Personalities

Let’s look at some personality types with different kinds of Conviction Cores. Perhaps you have some of these tendencies.

The My Way or the Highway personality types have a very strong iron core. They will not bend to others — they want others to bend to them. There are not too many compromises and these types have a very firm grasp or what they desire. Their flexible cloud is very small and their iron core is very large.

The Hakuna Matata concept was popularized in the movie the Lion King. It is a Swahili phrase meaning “no worries,” and in the conviction core is represented by the person who is easy-going. She just goes with the flow because most of the things she faces fall into the flexible cloud. The iron core is very small, as is the fuzzy zone.

And then there is the Anxious Angst personality. This person lives in the fuzzy grey zone, worrying about the discomfort and ambiguity. There may be multiple things he is facing or a sequence of events that has perturbed him, and he feels like he is living in a continuous state of being troubled.

For people who work in an organization, this is a difficult place to be for an extended period of time. When this happens, it often is because there is a personality conflict or a values misalignment.

Eventually, the person will have to decide whether to move this item to the iron core or to the flexible cloud. If he is able to accept the reality of the situation and move forward, it moves to the flexible cloud. If he decides this is a big enough hill to die on, it moves the iron core. After a season of no resolution once it becomes an iron core issue, I have seen most people move on from the organization.

And then there are the Black and White folks — the people who just aren’t comfortable living in ambiguity. They want clarity on everything — whether it is something that they are okay with (flexible cloud) or not okay with (where it may violate an iron core conviction). No fuzzy zone for them; that’s just too much ambiguity.

Questions to Ask

The concept of understanding your iron core is very important because in the moment it helps you to understand what your convictions are and which ones you will stand up for.

Here are a few questions to ponder if you are in the fuzzy zone:

1. What are the issues I feel angst about in regards to my organization?

2. What values do I have that underlie the feeling of angst? Where do I see conflict in these values in my situation?

3. If nothing were to change, could this issue move to the flexible cloud for me? (Hint: if your answer is “no” then they are likely facing an iron core issue!)

4. In what ways do I have ability or influence to create change in my situation and move the organization toward what I prefer?

5. How would I influence? Who has the ability to change the situation? Do I have these people’s respect and listening ear?

6. What are action steps I could take?

7. How long am I willing to put up with the misalignment of my iron core issues with the organization before I will move on?

These types of questions have helped me evaluate in the past when I have faced some severe fuzzy zone challenges.

In the case of the story above, I finally decided that being asked to steal another designer’s work was an iron core issue for me because it was a violation of integrity. I spoke up to my boss and knew that there was the potential for me to be fired because I refused to do what I had been asked to do.

But God (and my boss) was gracious, and it ended up being a good education moment for all of us as we sought different ways to create effective designs without resorting to ripping off another person’s work.

What personality are you? Or are there others you can think of?

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